Knights of the Pain Table

A Camelot for Sufferers of Chronic Pain

Taming Leviathan – In the Darkest of Nights, a Knyght’s Sword Cannot Sleep

Taming Leviathan

In a new Kingdom called “Taming Leviathan”, a Knyght of the Pain Table,  Lady Beloved,  put quill to paper to create a moving portrait of her struggle one night with overpowering pain.   She doth enter a land withouten sun, or moon or night.    It is her third night of very little sleep.   Our Lady fights the ailment of migraine, which hath no mercy.   Her words could be my words, as I too live in that land of darkness.  In the frowning brow on night she writes,

“I also feel like someone is taking a long, thin piece of stainless steel with a very sharp edge, and they are sliding it into my brain repeatedly, essentially slicing it like shaved deli meat. I feel the pain of the cut from the top of my head down to my neck. It is a stabbing sheet of pain, throughout the right side of my head.”

Bereaved of light, her world becomes so dark, and time becomes irrelevant.   There exists no past, and no future.   There is only a landscape of consuming darkness.   Describing the pain is nearly impossible.   The pain has taken control as she writes,

“I’d like to have a solvable problem.    This feels like a life sentence.   It is hard to not feel like a failure when your body continuously fails you.”

Lady Beloved’s feels the sword of chronic pain, down to the core of her being.  Her sword cannot sleep in her hand as the battle is constant and has sentenced her to a life of great anguish.  With severe migraine you cannot move, cannot breath and cannot think.  The prison walls are very real.

With each attempt our Lady doth fail.   Without certainty, and constant failures,  Knights can loose their identity in the constant darkness.  It takes great courage for Lady Beloved to seek truthes in the eternal silence. She doth write,

“But how could you know what this is like? How can any of us “walk in another’s moccasins”?   We can’t. But we can listen.  We can try to explain.  And we can definitely extend immeasurable amounts of grace to each other.”

Her soul hath sighted that immortal sea where grace abides.  She found strength where none seemed to exist.  In the embers of the horrific pain, she doth quell the arrows of rage and grief and opens a place in her soul where compassion and love entwine.

The Kingdom “Taming Leviathan”, is just a newcomer in the Blogosphere and the banner for this site proclaims “Wrestling with faith in light of chronic illness and pain”.     I believe that when times are good and you feel good, it is easy to have faith and certainty.    But with the great darkness of pain and suffering,  the soul begins to break and enters  a land that is no longer certain or hospitable.    You see or feel the other end of the spectrum of life.    Here,  among the darkest nights, is where true faith abides.

“Taming Leviathan” can mean the following:.

“Leviathan” is the Hebrew name for the sea monster of ancient myths of the Middle East.   The people of Israel expressed their belief in the creative power of God by saying that God tamed Leviathan.    The people of Israel expressed their belief in the creative power of God by saying that God tamed Leviathan…….  God creates by bringing order out of chaos.    The sea monster Leviathan is a symbol of primordial chaos;   God’s taming Leviathan is a way of symbolizing God’s creative acts as bringing order out of chaos.”

“The Spirit brings order out of chaos by taming the Leviathans in our lives……..  To the chaos of sin or guilt, the Spirit brings God’s forgiveness and acceptance.   To the chaos of illness or death, the Spirit brings the healing presence of God and the promise of new life.   To the chaos of lives empty of meaning,  the Spirit brings the fullness of purpose that comes with living by God’s will and call.”

Even at the darkest end of the spectrum, there is still some light.   So my dear Knyghts “Light Up” if you are lost and hold onto that glimmer of hope and faith.    If you have lost faith or do not believe in God,  search for someone to believe in or something that gives you hope.   And if you can find nothing, then hold onto your sword and let your armour protect till your fellow Knyghts ride out to find you to be by your side.   And most of all remember that you are loved.

King Arthur and all in Camelot doth honour this small Kingdom and look forward to the quest of “Taming Leviathan” with Squire Mathias and Lady Beloved.   It is a noble quest.   Lady Beloved is in our thought and prayers tonight.

Your humble Scribe,
Lady Sharon
Knight of the Pain Table of the Kingdom of Camelot

To read Lady Beloved’s Post visit

About The Author


Comments are closed.